emojis

As I’m sure you know, Valentine’s Day is this weekend; Sunday, to be exact. (And if you didn’t know that, please leave me a comment because I would be fascinated to hear the circumstances that somehow led you to this website but kept you unaware of the upcoming international holiday.) Now, I know some haters gonna hate on V-Day, like they do every year, but I really don’t have time for that. At this point I’ve spent the past month splashing my love for February 14 all over the internet so if you’re curious to know my feelings, check out this post and this post and this post after you’re done reading about your new favorite Valentine’s Day item: sexy emojis.

screen1Yup, it’s time to retire the eggplant and drops of water and peaches, my friends! For too long, sexters have lived in the shadow of euphemistic emojis, unable to express their true lusty feeling in pictorial form. But today, a couple of days before Valentine’s Day 2016, I’m hear to tell you: The reign of the eggplant is officially over. We’re about to get X-rated up in here, emoji lovers.

At least if you’re an Android user, that is.

That’s because the MiKandi Store has two X-rated groups of emojis that you’re going to want to add to your keyboards, stat. The first is the XXX Valentines by Emoji World, which includes such classics as that familiar yellow face getting a bouquet of dicks or holding up a heart shape with a cut out for her vagina. These are not the cards you handed out at school, folks, although their self-aware cheesiness definitely harkens back to them.

And for those of you who want to get a little more adult but aren’t so into emoji with visible genitalia, check out the Flirty Valentines by Emoji World. They feature the same two main characters but are, as the name suggests, more flirty than explicit. With cute messages like “Love All Year Long!” and “Love Keeps Us Young!”, as well as an image of an emoji wearing a ball gags, these ones walk the line between PG and R-rated but generally leave the X-rating up to their racier siblings.

Now, while I’m clearly repping these emojis this V-Day, they are pretty heteronormative. (I mean, not 100% but… Kind of.) So for those of you reading who are, for example, ladies who love ladies, then definitely don’t miss out on the lesbian emojis. They include fish tacos, side mullets, a U-Haul truck, and quite a few other hilarious emoji poking fun at lesbian stereotypes.

lesbian emojis
Eat out with fish tacos.

And, last but not least, I can’t do a post about sexy emojis without talking about Flirtmoji, which has every kind of sexty emoji for pretty much any race, gender expression, kink, or just for saying a cute hello. They’re kind of like the queens and kings of sexting, so definitely be sure to include them in your sextual activities this weekend, along with those Emoji World cuties. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Image: Pexels

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